March 01, 2008

Science Fiction...The Future Looks Bleak

Don't look ahead.

If science fiction stories have taught us anything, it's not to travel to the future. Time travel can be a good thing, granted we go back in time, but we can't go forward. Bad things happen in the future. We can put money on the fact that the future won't look good. Take these stories, for example:

Terminator 2
When we get a glimpse at the future, it's definitely not going well for us. Robots (as always) have taken over us idiot human beings. Not only that, but as it turns out, our only hope is a baby that will eventually become some great leader.

Lesson: Don't build robots that have the capability of becoming smarter than us. Matrix? iRobot? Seriously, we don't stand a good chance. Robots should be dumb and just vacuum the carpet.

Back to the Future, Part II
In the past, Biff was a thug with a funny haircut. In the future, Biff is a billionaire that ruins your entire life. The future is not a good place to be for a McFly.

Lesson: Don't leave your time machine unattended. Your worst enemy will steal it and use it to ruin your life.

In five years the world is still recovering from a catastrophe. Peter Petrelli now has a massive scar and is dating a stripper, and the president is the most evil person on the planet. Not to mention Hiro has gone from a nice guy to a character from the Matrix.

Lesson: If you can draw the future...don't. If you can travel there, grow a soul patch and carry a sword.

Time Travel with Care

So, if you're thinking about visiting the future, please reconsider. Nothing seems to go right. Instead, visit the past. Every time someone goes back in time they introduce something amazing, like a cigarette lighter, and are suddenly nominated for regional king. Generally, kingship requires that you fight off an entire army, but let's face it, you've got a lighter!

If you're considering time travel, I would advise checking out It's a fun little adventure that Nathan Scheck and I have put together, and the best part's free! And, there's no future travel! We wouldn't want something bad to happen to our characters! (not yet, anyway)

Any other future mishaps come to mind? Let me know!

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